3. Day 1, morning#

3.1. General outline#

This morning we’re going to talk about Vipassana and give you a general outline about what we’re doing here this week. We’ve introduced the practice last night giving you first initial mediation instructions, putting the mind into the present moment, internalizing your awareness and paying attention to the breath as it comes in and out of the body. In particular, we are paying attention to the physical sensations produced by the breath as the breath flows in and out of the body

This morning we’re going to look at Vipassana. We said last night «vi» is an intensifying prefix, «passana» means to see. So to see clearly. To see things as they really are, that’s what Vipassana means.

The ground of Vipassana is satipatthana practice. Vipassana starts to arise when we practice satipatthana or activating our awareness on the four foundations of mindfulness. Those four foundations are the physical sensations in the body, feelings – either pleasant or unpleasant – emotional states and the fourth one is reaction or thoughts or identification if you like.

All Vipassana systems take these four foundations of mindfulness as their base. Sometimes the techniques can be slightly different but they’re all establishing awareness in the present moment using our own mind and body 44 process as the objects of our observation. So the purpose of Vipassana is to see things as they really are, to see the mind and body process in the present moment as impermanent, unsatisfactory and non-self.

The duty of this practice is to destroy defilements at the six sense doors. Once your awareness and wisdom can be activated continuously in the present moment, we move from just observing the body door or selected objects and we start to broaden our awareness out to the six sense doors. The eye door, the ear door, the nose door, the tongue door, the body door, that we’re working with at the moment, and the mind door. These six sense doors. We’ll be able to note, know and let go at these six sense doors.

The purpose is to first of all start to wiggle free of this sense of self that we’ve developed over a period of time moment after moment, after moment of being unaware of what’s actually going on in the present moment, allowing craving for being to enter into the present moment, allowing craving to infiltrate the field of awareness. What happens is that craving for being subjectifies that moment. It becomes a moment where things are taken as me, mine and I. It becomes a moment where duality is created. There’s a me and there is the external world and all other people going on around it. And this happens very naturally and continuously. It happens without us thinking about it. It’s been going on since we were borne. It’s happening to everyone unless, of course, they’ve done the practice, seen it happening for them in real time and they’ve been able to follow the advice, the strategy given by the Buddha in uprooting this sense of self, removing this sense of self. We’ll be going into this subjectivity and how it arises as the retreat goes on. But just know that the practice or the duty of the practice is to destroy defilement, destroy the liking and disliking, destroy the attachment and aversion that is arising at the six sense bases continuously. The ultimate result of our Vipassana practice is the full removal of dukkha, the full understanding of dukkha, which allows us to understand the nature of craving and see the cessation of craving and that the path is fulfilled.

So we’re going to be using some various tools on this journey for understanding the sense of self and removing the sense of self. First of all we’ll be collecting some information on this sutta-maya pañña, the type of knowledge which arises from information. Somebody gives you some information 45 and you’ll know something about it, something about the object or something about the subject. Secondly, we use also a bit of thinking, this is citta-maya pañña, the type of wisdom that arises through thinking. Not the full understanding of an object – there are various levels of understanding of things. The third type of wisdom that arises is the wisdom that arises from pañña, from bhavana, bhavana-maya pañña. This is the wisdom that arises intuitively. We’re going to use all three of these types of wisdom. They all have different levels.

If I was going to tell you about my parents’ house, what it looks like, then you’ll have some information. You’ll understand to a certain degree of what type of house they live in. It won’t be very clear but you’ll have some understanding. That’s the first layer, the first level of understanding something. Secondly, we normally think about things. If I tell you about my parents’ house and then you start to think about it. You start to analyze it. You may come to a bit more of a clearer picture what this thing is, what this house is my parents are living in. Still, you wouldn’t fully imagine exactly how it looks like. You don’t know exactly how my parents’ house is like. You have never been there. You have never really examined it. You can look at it on the map and get all kinds of information. Various people can tell you about what my parents’ house looks like. You can even have some photos of how my parents’ house looks like. There are many different ways of collecting information and trying to discover what it is. But until you have actually been to my parents’ house, you don’t actually know what it truly is.

And it’s the same with the meditation practice. We don’t fully understand the nature of the mind and the body process simply by reading about it, reading about meditation. We won’t understand the mind and body process through thinking about it. Thinking is actually an object of wisdom. Thinking about something doesn’t lead us to wisdom. Thinking is an object of wisdom. Finally we get through all the information and all the thinking, we can put that all aside and we can experience our own mind and body process through our own meditation practice. That’s when we come to a true understanding about the nature of the mind and body process – this mind and body process, that’s going on here. We are not so interested in other people’s mind and body processes. We’re interested in investigating this one here. We’re interested in investigating what we know as nama-rupa. Nama 46 means the mind, rupa means the matter. Mind and matter. It’s a mind and matter process that we’ve painted in our perception, in our thinking, so we get a conceptual idea about what it actually is. However, our concepts don’t truly cover the nature of our mind and body process. So this week, we’re going to be investigating this mind and body process. Essentially the mind and body process are in a vortex, dependent upon each other. When the mind arises, the body also arises. When the body arises, the mind also arises. So these things are locked together in a vortex dependently conditioning each other. We’re going to be looking into this.

Last night we talked about the nature of the body, the four elements. The elements of extension, temperature, movement and cohesion. These four elements joining together making this physical body. And then there is a mind as well. There is a mind which has feelings, it has various perceptions, various thoughts about it – primarily those three things are joined together in the mind. And then there is consciousness.

Consciousness is that which knows the mind and body process. The mind and body process are spinning, are dependent on each other. Consciousness is like a vessel that allows these things to arise and pass away. Consciousness is also arising and passing away. In fact, the body, the mind and consciousness – the five aggregates are arising and passing away every single moment. Moment after moment. They’re arising and passing away at the six sense bases. At these six doors the five aggregates are manifesting. There will be a physical component to our experience, there will be a feeling component to our experience, there will be perceptions and recognitions about what is going on, there will be some thought, liking and disliking and subjectification about the experience that’s going on in the present moment. Our experience which is the experience of consciousness is just simply mind and matter. It doesn’t belong to anybody. It doesn’t have an owner. It’s a mental and physical phenomena arising and passing away according to their conditioning, arising and passing away according to the law of dependent arising. And we’ll be talking more on this as the week goes on.

Essentially what we’re doing in our Vipassana meditation practice is observing this mind and body process. Consciousness which is just the 47 knowing, it’s just knowing, it knows things. That’s its only function. It’s not yours, it’s not you! You’re not the consciousness and the consciousness does not belong to you. It’s function is to know things. When presented with something, it knows it. Depending on what factors are surrounding consciousness it’ll know in a particular way. If our consciousness is surrounded by helpful mental factors, then we’ll start to see things as they really are. When consciousness is surrounded by hindrances, mental states that cloud the mind and don’t allow us to see things clearly, then that will be our experience. So our meditation practice is to develop certain mental factors, so that we can surround the knowing with able bodied workers so that they can note and know exactly what is going on in the present moment.

So we’ll start to dissect our sense experience. First we’ll do it by me talking to you and then we’ll start to realize for ourselves in our practice. We’ll go through a few different exercises.

I’ve said last night that the present moment is defined as mind and matter which is arising independent of desire. This is what nama-rupa is. Nama-rupa arising independent of desire. Mind and matter, when it arises in its natural state, when it is not infected by craving, when it is not infected by craving for being, when it’s not under the illusion of a self trying to become something, it’s not trying to be anything, it’s not interested in a self or becoming an ego or developing more sense of I, when the mind and body process drops this behavior, we start to experience some freedom. We start to experience the results of Vipassana practice. We start to experience the world which is beyond defilement, beyond craving arising in the present moment. We’ll be able to see this for ourselves. This is a well tested meditation technique that’s been practiced for a very long time, many, many centuries. In fact for 26 centuries people have been practicing this meditation technique realizing the benefits of this meditation technique. I hope you all have a good opportunity to really practice this week and to realize the benefits of this practice.

As we’re practicing in this way, not only do we want to understand what is the content of our mind, not only do we want to understand the physical sensations in the body. That’s the individual characteristics of things. We know when the mind is happy, we know when the mind is feeling greedy or 48 when it’s feeling some aversion. We know when the mind is starting to calm down and become still. We know when the mind is becoming agitated. These are the individual characteristics that arise and pass away. This is mental and physical phenomena arising and passing away in the present moment. It’s one thing to understand these. It’s one thing to understand all the different content but we don’t want to get stuck in content. Our Vipassana practice goes far beyond the contents of our body and mind process.

What we’re looking at is the structure and the nature of the mind and body process. There are many thoughts that will arise and pass away. There will be many different subjects, they’ll be arising and passing away on the past, arising and passing into the future. Arising and passing away thinking, imagining, reflecting – all kinds of mental activities will be going on. These are all independent events but they are all joined together. They all have one common characteristic, or should we say they have three common characteristics. When we look at them from a structural point of view, they are all impermanent. It doesn’t matter what the content is, it arises and passes away. All the content, all the mind and body processes are also dukkha. We’ll be using this word this week, dukkha, normally translated as suffering or unsatisfactoriness. It’s a word the Buddha used to describe the unsatisfactory nature of the mind and body process when it’s under the illusion of a self. When the mind and body process has chosen to believe it is somebody, when the mind and body process has become subjectified. And this is called dukkha. The Buddha’s term for it was pancha uppadhana kandha vidukkha. The five aggregates affected by clinging or attachment is dukkha.

So we’ll be investigating this and seeing that these mind states, as different as they may be, all share three common characteristics: they’re impermanent, they’re relatively unsatisfactory and they’re also non-self. These mind processes that arise and pass away, the physical body that arises and passes away, don’t belong to anybody. It’s all happening by itself. In fact, there is an intricate law of nature that combines things together, that combines the mind and body together, causes and effects together, to produce this result, this ongoing flow, this ongoing manifestation of mind and body process in the present moment. It’s completely out of control.

So, impermanence, dukkha and non-self of all conditioned phenomena 49 is what we want to get to in our Vipassana practice. At the moment we’ll start to watch the body, come to terms with that, then we’ll start to have a look at the mind, come to terms with that. We’ll start to see that sometimes the body is the cause, sometimes it’s an effect. Sometimes the mind is a cause, sometimes the mind is an effect. All these things, causes and effect, mind and body, all are subject to the same three characteristics. They are all impermanent, they’re all subject to change, they’re unstable, they’re arising and passing away. They’re being used as an object in which craving can enter upon and develop a sense of me. They are the matrix, these mental and physical phenomena. They are not you! They arise and pass away so rapidly that you can’t possibly identify as being you once you’ve seen them. You’ll know that that’s not you. That’s not me. I’m not that. And definitely not that. You’ll start to see that there is nobody there. Nobody in the mind and body process! There’s no experiencer! There’s lots of experiencing. Hearing is occurring but there is no hearer. Seeing is occurring but there is no seer. Thoughts arise and pass away but there is nobody who is thinking them. There is no thinker there. It’s all a dependently arisen, conditioned matrix, that’s arising and passing away. Unfortunately, it has been affected by craving to be. This very strong desire to become has infected the mind and body process. Each experience is taken as an experience for me, it’s taken as being mine. This is happening to me. This is where I was born, these are my parents. The whole world is subjectified with me at the center. It’s me, and everything else is going around. We’ve created a duality.

Luckily for us, there is a way out of this. We need to be able to see the structure of our sense experience. We need to understand that it’s all impermanent. We need to see that this is an unsatisfactory state of affairs. This is an unsatisfactory place, we got ourselves in. When we see the arising and passing away of mental and physical phenomena, you’ll come to understand that this is indeed quite an unsatisfactory situation. You’ll come to understand why the Buddha called this dukkha. You’ll understand that this mind and body process has been arising and passing away for a very, very, very long time. And it will continue to do so, unless something is done about it. Unless it can be broken through and seen as it really is. And that’s the purpose of our Vipassana practice. To break through and see that this mind and 50 body process doesn’t actually belong to anyone. It’s fueled by its old karmic intentions. Old karmic intentions producing their resultants. That’s what this mind and body is. Effectively resultants coming from old karma manifesting in the present moment believing that they are somebody. And then, a new karmic resultant has the opportunity to arise and pass away. And then a new one. And then a new one arises and passes away. It’s incessant! It’s continuous! There are very little gaps. Impermanence is hidden from us by what is known as santati or continuity. We can’t see the gaps, just like when we’re watching a film, we don’t see the individual frames of the film. We see the movie. Actually that movie is made of each discrete individual events and so is our life made up of exactly this at the six sense doors arising and passing away so rapidly that we actually never see the frames. We only see the movie and the movie is my life. The movie is about me.

You’ll notice this week that you spend a lot of time thinking about yourself. This is not because of the retreat. This is how it normally is. We’re just noticing it for the first time perhaps. You’ll see that this thing continuously, incessantly thinks about itself. It’s completely obsessed with itself. It can’t think of anything else to think about. It loves to think about itself. Reminisces about the past or the traumas of the past or the worries of the past. Or it’s interested in what its plans are going to be, how it’s going to become, what it’s going to manifest as. It loves to think about that stuff. Diligently planning every detail of where it’s going to be and what it’s going to become. If it’s not doing those things then it’s engaging and indulging in enjoyment and delight in sensual pleasures finding little things for it to enjoy. It finds little nice things to look at, pleasant things to listen to, nice things to smell and taste. When those things don’t interest it anymore, it goes and finds some new things. This is what this mind and body is doing. Constantly reacting to pleasant feeling and unpleasant feeling. Dukkha is hidden from us by the body posture. By simply not paying attention to the body, not paying attention to the posture, we don’t see the nature of dukkha. Dukkha is arising in this mind and body process continuously. Just try holding your body still for an hour. Any posture, it doesn’t matter, sitting, standing, walking or lying down. Try to do all, try to do one for an hour and see what happens to the body. See if you can feel any unpleasant sensations 51 arising in the body. It’s continuously arising. This thing is a manifestation of unpleasant physical sensations. That’s why we have to keep moving it. That’s why we have to constantly transition between these four different postures. Walking, standing, sitting and lying down. Because the dukkha, the painfulness, just keeps coming. Hold it like this for while. It becomes too much, you have to move your leg. You sit down, you have to stand up. Even when you’ve been lying down, even that becomes uncomfortable. You have to sit up, you have to stand up, you have to walk a little bit. If you have been walking, you have to sit down again. Constantly transitioning between these four postures. This is what hides the nature of dukkha from us. By not paying attention to our posture. When we don’t see the posture, when we don’t internalize our awareness in the present moment, we don’t see what’s happening. We just think we’re moving our shoulders, just make ourselves a little more comfortable, lean a little bit, do this, lean that way, find a wall to lean on and slumping our shoulders. Finding any kind of comfortable position, see how long you can keep it and then, dukkha manifesting. You have to move again! Constantly moving.

The third characteristic of non-self is hidden by compactness or ghana- saññā, perception of compactness. It appears like this mind and body process is all joined together. It’s all pacted. We can’t see beyond it. Just like the car down their in the car park. We don’t see beyond «car». It’s compacted. We just see one thing. «Car». That’s it. We don’t bother to investigate. It is actually different car parts. Actually, it’s only rubber, glass, metal and plastic. We don’t investigate that. We don’t see that. We don’t see the conceptual objects and don’t see it in our own mind and body process. The fact that things are separated is hidden from us because of this swiftly, constantly flowing river. There is no gaps in it. Compacted together.

So these three characteristics of our structural experience is what Vipassana practice is all about. You’ll intuitively know impermanence, dukkha and non-self. You’ll know them as dependent arisen and conditioned. When we don’t take any as self then we are starting to free the mind. That’s the real purpose of our meditation practice. Once we’ve removed the concept of personality, of this distorted view of individuality, we’ll understand that this is actually the seed of all our problems. This is where our problems come from. 52 You’ll start to notice that actually when I’m being really selfish and I have a very strong sense of self, there is quite a lot of dukkha associated with that. Lots of self, lots of dukkha. Reduce your sense of self, reduce your dukkha. A little bit of self, a little bit of dukkha. No self, no dukkha. The cessation of dukkha is completed when the sense of self is fully removed. Dukkha is dependent on me, mine and I. Dependent on this sense of self arising in the present moment. Our conceptions of «I am» are based upon this present moment experience continuously multiplying moment after moment after moment. It becomes so continuous, it flows so uninterruptedly, so mechanically that we don’t actually see what’s going on. Luckily 26 centuries ago the Buddha saw what was going on and he was able to teach what he came to know for himself. Not only that people that he taught were also able to understand the nature of reality and they also became enlightened beings. And so this tradition has passed down to us. There are still people on the planet who are enlightened. They had followed the teaching and completed the training. I have met them, enlightened beings following the teaching. This is our opportunity to practice this wonderful teaching, to realize the true nature of the mind and body process, to stop identifying with it. The stuff is still going to be arising. Your old karma is still going to manifest in this live. Mind and body process will still keep bubbling away, but the more you can remove your sense of self, the more pleasant you’ll find the whole experience. If you can completely remove your sense of self from nature, from this mind and body process that is arising and passing away, then you’ll have found a state of freedom. A state of peace. A state of comfort. A state of great bliss. A state of loving kindness and compassion for other beings. And this is where our Vipassana practice is heading.

You will need to obtain a level of concentration, you will need to be mindful continuously from moment to moment. It’s through continuous mindfulness, continuous attention to what is actually going on in the present moment that concentration arises. If we can actively note what’s going on and we do that continuously, we are aware, we’re witnessing, observing, we’re paying attention but we’re not interfering with what’s going on. We’re just watching. We are the detached watcher. Just being attentive observing. Witnessing is taking place. This is the power of mindfulness and wisdom. 53 We’ll be talking more about them as the week goes on.

So we are establishing our awareness in the present moment, we are activating our awareness continuously. In the beginning stages of the practice you’ll need to do this very often. Your mind will wander here and there. You go into the past and future thinking about various things. You will need to reactivate your awareness and bring it back into the present and know what is the object of consciousness. Keep bringing your awareness back into the present and seeing what’s there. That’s what our practice is all about. If you can do this continuously, keep bringing yourself back to the present, keep bringing yourself back, what happens is that the mind stabilizes in this mode of awareness. In the beginning stages that’s difficult just to get into it for a few seconds, just to get into this awareness, that you’ll be there and that you’re present with what’s going on. And then your mind will run away again. You’ll follow the breath a little bit, you can be there with it and then your mind will run away again. This is very normal. Anyone who has trained a dog will know. You have to train it. It will take some patience, it will take some effort but eventually the dog understands that it has to go and piddle outside. You bring it in, it starts to piddle, you put it outside again. It comes back inside, it gets comfortable, it starts a little piddle, you take it outside and it does it out there. Eventually it knows that it has to go outside to go to the toilet. In our meditation practice as well, if we continuously keep averting our intention and the awareness to the present moment, our mind starts to learn, starting to train our mind to come back into the present. At the beginning it’s difficult, but after a while, we get used to it.

3.2. Noting, Knowing, Letting go#

We activate our awareness. What’s there? We note it! When I say «we note it» that means, we just make a recognition in our mind. And this is what’s there. Just that! We are just noting it.

The second part of our operation is, we know the object. We note what’s there and then we know it. We know it in a very special way. We know it as an object. We see it for what it actually is. We know it as an independent, discrete event that’s occurring. It’s either a mental event or it’s a physical event. It’s impermanent, we know it’s arisen, it’s there, we watch it and it 54 passes away. We understand the nature of it. This is a conditioned, dependently arisen object, it’s out of control. It has arisen when its conditions are in place and it has passed away when those conditions are no longer there. It’s an independent, dependently arisen, conditioned mental or physical phenomena. It has probably been subjectified. It has probably been identified as being me and mine. And so dukkha arises in that moment. If our awareness can be sharp enough, if we can note and know the object so that craving for being doesn’t have a chance to enter into the moment, then that’s a moment of freedom. That’s a moment of cessation of dukkha. We can free the mind in that moment.

So what we do is we note whatever’s there, we know it – by knowing I mean we step back from it, disengage from it, stop identifying with it, we see it just as it is, put a little fence around it, if you like, or build a wall around it or put it up on a high shelf, there it is, it’s not me, it’s not mine, it’s not I. It could be «hearing». It’s not «I am hearing». There is some hearing occurring. When we look at our physical sensations, normally, we look at it from a subjective point of view. «My painful knee». There is some physical sensations that is there. That’s all it is. There is some unpleasantness that’s there, that’s all it is. There is a physical object, there is a mental object and there is a subjectification of that. My painful knee. Three things are going on there. We can note them. We can note and know them so that our mind doesn’t get trapped, that it doesn’t get engaged, that it doesn’t get immured with the object and it passes away. This is how the letting go process takes place in the present moment.

We activate our awareness, we note what’s there, we step back from it, not engaging with it in any way, we’re not thinking about it or analyzing it, we are just stepping back from it and then we watch it pass away. It arises, we note it, we step back and it passes away. It arises, we note it, we step back and it passes away. We do this over and over and over again. This is what our meditation practice is all about. Freeing the mind, freeing consciousness from the mind. Freeing consciousness from the mind and body process. Consciousness, which is like a bowl; mind and body are like the fruit that is sitting in the bowl. Without a bowl the fruit can’t have a sit. You can’t have a bowl that is just empty. It’s got to have something in it. So they’re 55 in kind of a relationship, this bowl and this fruit. They have to go together. Consciousness is the bowl that allows the fruit to be there. The fruit can only be there if there’s a consciousness. So they are in this symbiotic relationship causing and effecting each other. Mind and body sometimes is the cause of consciousness. Consciousness is sometimes the cause of mind and body. They are arising and passing away together. We need to be able to see this in real-time.

To do this we need to be able to note and know and let go. Note, know and let go. Note, know and let go. Note, know and let go. And we need to do it continuously. We need to do it rapidly. The more rapidly you can do the practice, the quicker you’re letting go will take place. You will be able to see things more and more clearly. In the beginning it takes a lot of effort to put forth this noting, doing this noting, being aware of exactly what is the content of your consciousness right now. What’s happening now: Is it hearing? Is it seeing? Is it smelling? Is it tasting? What is it now? What is happening now? Is it hearing? Is it seeing? Smelling? Tasting? Touching? The five sense doors are constantly stimulated by the environment. If there are sounds, hearing occurs. If there are visible forms, seeing occurs. The body is touching this mat, touching is occurring! The body is feeling a little bit warm, warmth is occurring there! Vibration is there. These physical and mental phenomena are going on all over the place continuously arising and passing away. If we are aware in the present moment, we can block craving from entering the moment and there is a moment of freedom.

If we’re unaware of the moment, then craving will enter the moment and cause, what the Buddha called dukkha, this unsatisfactory state of affairs, where the mind and body process have become subjectified. They think they are somebody. Trapped! We are trapped in a sense of self. We are trapped in the matrix. Luckily for us, if we can note and know and let go and keep noting and keep noting and keep noting, moment after moment after moment, moment after moment, what happens, is this mode of perception stabilizes. The mind becomes concentrated and starts to see things in this mode more frequently, more commonly, more often, continuously. The curtain opens and we start to see what is really going on in the present moment. We see things as they really are. The letting go mechanism takes place and 56 we are free in that moment. All we have to do is extend that moment out, keep extending our awareness in the present, keep extending our wisdom, which de-identifies with things. Being aware in the present moment is just not enough. Awareness will take us to the present and we’ll know what’s there but we need wisdom as well. Wisdom allows not to get engaged with the object. We note it and we are right there with it. Wisdom is that which steps back. So we are noting and we are knowing. The result of this is letting go. We are noting, knowing, letting go. Whatever physical phenomena is arising in the body, make a note of it. Whatever mental phenomena is arising, make a note of it. Whether it’s an emotional state or a judging state or complaining state or if it’s pleasantness or if it’s unpleasantness or if it’s hot or if it’s tired, if it’s hungry, what ever is going on. Vipassana meditation is paying attention to just what is. We are not trying to create anything special. We are trying to observe nature as it bubbles up. We want to see it as it comes up completely undisturbed. We are not trying to manipulate the mind and body process. We are trying to let it go. We are trying to completely and totally detach from it, so it can just do its thing without the sense of me being in there.

When you experience that for yourself, you will experience a very large amount of bliss, you will be very happy, very pleased and very free. This is where our meditation practice goes.

We are not having reactions to the objects, we are not trying to like or dislike them. We are just allowing them to arise and pass away. We are not judging things as being good or bad. We are not comparing things. The mind often likes to compare. It likes to go into the past. To think about how it was then and how it is now. It likes to compare with the future. How much better it’s going to be in the future compared to what it is now.

So just be aware of whatever is occurring without any entanglements. We are going to follow the breath and use that as a conceptual framework to keep us in the present as we observe what is going on. Watch things as they occur. As our mindfulness gradually becomes more constant, more continuous and more powerful, the mind starts to stabilize in various levels, in various stages. Depending on the stage of stability, on the level of concentration you will see things as they really are up to that level. The more you can let 57 go of, the more stable your awareness will become. So it will become concentrated. The mind will enter a concentrated state of samadhi. It will be able to see things as they really are.

The most important thing to be aware of is whatever object is arising in the moment. That’s the most important thing to note. If you are unsure of what you need to be noting, whatever is there is the answer. Whatever is arising that’s what we pay attention to. We are not trying to create any special object. Just whatever is there. Activate your awareness in the present. What’s there? What are you thinking about? What is your emotional state? Are you feeling happy? Is there pleasantness in the moment or is there unpleasantness in the moment? Is there some physical sensations occurring in the moment? Is there any emotional state occurring? Are you looping on something? Are you thinking about something? Are you becoming angry about something? Are you disliking something? Have a look at that! Maybe you’re becoming happy about something.

Our mindfulness meditation is the practice of non-reaction. We are not reacting, we are not judging. Mindfulness is a process which is not judging. You are not calling things as good or bad. That is a reaction of the mind. Things are as they are! They are perfectly fine! Of course, we can make trouble by saying this is good or this is bad. Things are as they are. So our practice is just to be aware of whatever is occurring.

We can listen to something. We can hear those insects in the background there. We can listen. That involves somebody who is listening. Hearing doesn’t involve anybody. Hearing is occurring. Hearing is a natural state. There is holes in your head, there is sound outside. Ear drum and sound meeting together, ear consciousness arising. It doesn’t belong to anyone. It’s not you. It’s not yours.

Why are you identifying with it? Why are you becoming upset with it? «Oh, that sound is happening to me!» Hmm, you have appropriated that sound! You are unable to note it in the present moment, ’hearing, hearing’, that is what is actually happening right now. Hearing process is activated. So we are aware that hearing is occurring. When we understand it as just hearing, hearing is just hearing. It’s not «I am hearing something» or «I am listening». When we can see it as just hearing, only that, then we have freed 58 the mind from the subjectivity that we have become involved with – if we can note and know fast enough, if we can keep noting continuously to block this sense of self from getting into the sense perception process.

It is constantly trying to enter. Craving is constantly there, swirling like a cloud in our present moment experience. It wants to be. This is its very nature. Craving really, really wants to be somebody. It really wants to be something. Think about it! It is all you are thinking about. «I want to be this, I want to study this, I want to study that, I want to be this person, I want to be that, I want to have this, I want to have that job title, this car, this amount of money.» It wants to be. It doesn’t matter, unfortunately for us, it doesn’t matter what it wants to be. It attaches to both pleasant and unpleasant experiences. It gains the sense of self from the pleasant experiences, «I am happy, this is great», and it gains a sense of self from the unpleasant experiences. «This is awful, what am I doing here».

All of those thoughts, when they are unseen, when we are unmindful of them, when we haven’t been able to note and know in the present moment exactly what that mind state is, we get sucked into it! We get sucked into it and start identifying with it. The pleasantness is no longer just pleasantness. It is pleasantness for me. The unpleasantness, it’s just unpleasantness. Oh, there is some unpleasantness arising. If we note it and know it, we can free our mind from that unpleasantness. If we don’t see it fast enough, we will get sucked into it. Absorbed into it. That unpleasantness will be happening to me. It will be happening for me. And so we dukkher ourselves and bring dukkha into the moment through unawareness. When we have awareness, dukkha ceases.

When we have no awareness, dukkha is arising. It’s two sides of the coin. You can choose how you want to live your life in the present moment. If you want to be aware, mindful and fully aware of what your mental state is, so that you can note it, know it and let it go, then you can live in freedom from this onslaught of craving to be. If you don’t want to do that, if you just want to let it come into every sense experience that you have got, create a sense of self, prepare yourself for the ups and downs of life, the vicissitudes of life. Lots of unpleasantness, lots of pleasantness. You’ll be swirling like in a washing machine. Swirling around. Swirling around by being conditioned 59 by pleasantness and unpleasantness if you are unable to note it, know it and let it go.

Our meditation technique this week is designed to understand the nature of our mind. To see how it is functioning, real data in real-time. And you’re not just listening to me telling you about this, you’re going to practice it. We are going to witness it for ourselves. The Buddha’s teaching is not something you believe in. It is not a belief-system. The Buddha never asked us to believe something. He asked us to investigate for ourselves and to understand for ourselves. That is what the Buddha’s teaching is all about. It’s about understanding. He never says, hey, come and believe me. He says, have a look at that and understand it. He never asked us to believe anything. He asked us just to do the practice and experience it for ourselves. You will all be able to experience some level of dhamma on this retreat. To some level or another, you will all experience some aspect of nature that is arising and passing away in your mental and physical process.

If we don’t observe what is going on, when we see something or when we hear something, then we are very quick to react. We normally react with aversion or attraction, attachment. If it is pleasant, we’ll like it, we want it, more. If it is unpleasant, we dislike it, we push it away, we get rid of it. This is what we do. If we are unmindful, we just go through life, processing things in this way. Unpleasant and push away. Pleasant, more. Unpleasant, push away. Pleasant, more. If we are surrounded by unpleasantness, then we will have to work out a way to try to escape by searching for something pleasurable. Trying to open the fridge door, get some food out, put the music on, find some kind of pleasurable distraction to take us away from the present moment. Up until now, our only way to be dealing with any dukkha-states has been through sensuality. Trying to find something nice to eat, something nice to look at, something nice to listen to, something nice to touch of clothing, touch of another person. We go searching for those things. Drugs, for alcohol, for sex, for food, gambling. We search for things to pull us out from our dukkha.

Dukkha is manifesting in the present moment continuously. And this is the first noble truth. The Buddha said, there is dukkha. He’s doesn’t say, you are dukkha. He doesn’t say, your life is dukkha. He doesn’t say, the world 60 is dukkha. All he says is, there is dukkha. There it is! Right there! Where? Here! This thing. This is where dukkha is arising, and this is where dukkha is ceasing. Only here! Dukkha is not out there. Suffering, the Buddha is talking about, is not outside. He is talking about this thing here. So let’s have a look inside. See if you can see this dukkha arising in the present moment. If we can see the dukkha that is arising in the present moment, we will also see the craving that produces that dukkha and also see where that dukkha ceases to exist. It’s called walking the noble eightfold path and we’ll be doing that this week.

When we see things that we like, when we hear things that are pleasant, we just take those things as being good things. We like them, we love them, we want to get them, we want to hold them, we want to keep them, we want to become the owner of them. That is mine, that is happening to me. If it is not mine, it’s not good enough. Living in a fancy house, wow, it would be great, if we owned that place. Why? What is great about owning it? Anyway you get to live in it already, why do you need to own it? Why will owning be any better? It’s just the story of your self. The story of me. It wants stuff, it clings and tries to hold on to stuff. It tries to accumulate things. It’s constantly seeing what the mind, what craving is doing. It’s just trying to build an identity for itself. It is very effective, it’s very skillful, it does so very efficiently. It’s creating a personality, building an identity for itself and each moment is used as a little backup, a little prop, a little crutch to keep the show rolling. To keep this mirage of a person rolling on. It keeps having to identify to things in the present moment to keep backing it up. To keep backing up the story that this is somebody. That there is somebody here.

Vipassana insight blows this apart. When we see things clearly with insight, we understand that things are impermanent, things are unsatisfactory and things are ultimately out-of-control and non-self. They don’t belong to anybody. It’s not happening to anyone. It’s just happening. How it happens, we will talk about as the days go on. Why it’s happening, we’ll talk about as the days go on.

For our purposes here today, it’s happening. All we have to do is observe it. We have to watch it. We are watching the physical sensations in the body. Really pay attention to the movement inside the body when the breath goes 61 in and out. Don’t pay so much attention to the breath. Pay a lot of attention to the sensations created by the breath. What does it feel like to be inside the body knowing those physical sensations? So just be mindful of whatever is arising in the present moment. That’s what our practice is all about. We are noting, we are knowing and we are letting go moment after moment after moment. And this leads us to a state of concentration, a stabilized mode of perception in which we start to see things as they really are. When we see things as they really are, the mind can no longer build a sense of self from that object in that present moment. If you see something clearly with Vipassana insight, it’s impossible for consciousness to build a story and identify with that object. We have seen it clearly. Clear seeing has taken place. You will stop identifying with that physical sensation. It’s not me, mine or I. You will stop identifying with that thought process, that habitual craving that you may have. You will stop identifying with some aversion state that often arises. You will stop identifying with many different things if you can keep your awareness in the present moment, noting, knowing and letting go. So that is what our practice is all about this week.

We are going to do some walking meditation now. Just to remind you about the walking meditation. We find a place outside, nice and calm, come to attention, standing, become aware of the standing posture, feel the feet as they are touching the floor, touching the sand or wherever you are standing, come inside the body, lower your head, keep your mind inside the body, don’t allow it to go wandering into the jungle, wandering on to somebody’s body. Keep your mind inside and start gently making movements lifting, moving, placing. Lifting, moving, placing. And try to walk from one end to the other end. It can be 12 or 15 steps, lifting, moving, placing, lifting, moving, placing. Try to take each one as a single event. Lifting. Finished. Moving. Finished. Placing. Finished. Lifting. Finished. Moving. Finished. Placing. Finished. Dividing your experience up into discrete individual moments where you can note and see what is happening in that present moment experience. We are going to start to divide the stream of your life up and start just to divide and conquer, if you like, the flow of mental and physical phenomena arising and passing away extremely rapid up until now. Your life has very 62 successfully fooled you, believing that you are somebody. This Vipassana is going to remove this false view so that you can start to live in a lot more freedom and a lot more peace and a lot less dukkha.