10. Day 4, afternoon#
10.1. Third foundation of mindfulness citta nupassana#
The third foundation of mindfulness is contemplation of the mind or mind states. Meditation is mind development. As our practice develops we give more and more emphasis to the mind, to watching the mind. In particular, in watching defiled mind states. We are training the mind. Training to do what? To observe, weaken and destroy these defilements which enter our sense experience and cause dukkha. The Buddha’s teaching is full of groupings of these defilements or imperfections. In particular the satipatthana tells us to look at greed, hatred and delusion. Lobha, dosa and moha. The ten fetters is another group. Or the seven latent tendencies, anusaia. The three taints, the asavas. The five hindrances, nivanas. All of these different groupings of defiled mind states, imperfections or corruptions come from three roots. Lobha, dosa and moha; greed, hatred and delusion. These three roots have their base in ignorance, in unknowing, in unawareness, avija. If we are unaware of the present moment experience, than that experience is an experience with ignorance. Ignorance arises and starts to condition the mind and body process in that moment. In fact, in that moment the whole experience stands on ignorance. That is an unaware moment. It is a moment which is going to be dukkha. When there is ignorance and craving, there is dukkha. When ignorance and craving ceases, dukkha ceases. 161 And this doesn’t happen anywhere or for any time except for right here and right now. These things are occurring right now, this is a present moment experience. It is either one with awareness, knowledge, or with unawareness, ignorance.
The aim this afternoon is not to give you a catalogue of the impurities of the mind. We are just going to have a look at a few ones, in particular those which pull us out into wanting states and those modes that push us away: attracting and aversion. Our mindfulness practice endeavors to experience them, to get to know them, so that they can be let go of. Without knowing and seeing them, it is not possible to let them go. In the first of the four noble truths ‘there is dukkha’, the Buddha said, «dukkha must be under- stood». It must be understood. We must realize it through our own wisdom. For us to do this we must have right attitude. We need to make sure that we are meditating with the right intentions. Right attitude allows us to observe and accept whatever is happening, whether it is pleasant or unpleasant, in a relaxed and alert manner, not over focussing – we are not causing stress or tension in the mind – we are open and comfortable, we are spacious in the mind, we are just spaciously observing, we are just watching. We are not interfering with things. Most of all we are accepting, we have to accept that good and bad experiences occur. Every experience whether good or bad, gives us an experience to learn something about the nature of that particular conditioned phenomena. If it is a good experience, we probably attach to it and want to keep it. If it is a bad experience we probably do not want it and try to push it away. In both cases we are attaching, we are identifying with that particular phenomena taking it as mine, happening to me or taking that experience happening for me. When we do this with all our experiences continuously again and again, subjectifying, taking them as mine or me than we build a sense of I. All these little moments of me and mine crystallize and become more concrete in a stronger sense of subjectivity, a more intense form of the self, an I. An I becomes to be born. If all these things are happening to me and all this stuff is mine, than it is very natural for the idea of «I am». It occurs. If this is all me and mine, well then «I am», I have a self. And so the mind and body process start to believe it is someone. It has come under the full sway of ignorance.
10.2. Craving#
162 Craving is manifesting in every moment, craving for being, bhava tanha, entering into the sense experience, flooding our experience from moment after moment with infection of the self, infection of the ego. We need to notice whether our mind accepts things how they are, or whether there is liking or disliking, whether there is some judging or reactions. We need to watch ourselves with our motivations for our meditation practice. We need to keep checking to see with what kind of mind state we are practicing. If we are practicing with wishing, wanting – «I have to get in this meditation this far, I have got to get…» – then you are blocking your meditation from developing. That wanting is a little bit of desire and is stopping us from entering into the present moment.
Whatever happens in the body is dhamma, whatever happens in the mind is dhamma. It is all dhamma-nature. Nothing is happening to you or for you. We are appropriating it. It is taking ownership itself. That is only because it does not know and not see. It just decides to take ownership of things. It seeks an identity and finds one in our daily lives in our daily sense experiences. Feeling hot is just feeling hot, it is just dhamma-nature. We will feel much hotter if we start to identify with that heat. In fact we can give ourselves dukkha. When the body starts to feel hot, like it is today, we can make a note ‘warmth, heat, sweating’, whatever it is, whatever the physical sensation is at this moment, make a note of it, know it, stop identifying with it, so that the heat is let go – it is your attachment we are talking of here, we are not turning the weather off – the body still remains hot but we have stopped attaching to it so you don’t find it that unpleasant. It is still hotness, there is still some heat but you have turned off your attachment so that we turned off the dukkha. It is only if we hold things that dukkha comes to destroy us. Allow it to be as it is! Accept things as they are! Let them roll-out. They are impermanent and will pass away very rapidly anyhow. Why ruin your morning, why ruining your afternoon by a little bit of attachment to something, cause some dukkha for yourself. Don’t write any dukkha in your schedule. We don’t need it. – Everything that is happening is happening because of cause and effect. Our work is to have the right attitude to maintain awareness, to use our intelligence, to have interest in the practice.
10.3. Ignorance#
163 Ignorance of these defiled states of mind affects our attitude. When we don’t understand the nature of these corruptions in the mind, when we have wrong attitude, we can’t help being affected by them. They do affect our life. It is important that we recognize and investigate our wrong attitudes and straighten them up. At this time of the retreat, if you are trying to meditate to get some results, please stop that. Drop any expectational desire for any results. Just do your work of putting the conditions in place. The results will take care of themselves. Try to understand how these wrong attitudes really affect our practice when we have some strong expectations. When we have expectations and these expectations are not fulfilled – what is that state? Dukkha! So drop your expectations and guess what disappears – dukkha disappears. So don’t try to create or expect anything. Trying to create or expect anything to happen is greed, lobha. Don’t reject what is happening. Rejecting what is happening is aversion, dosa. Not activating our awareness in the present is not-knowing, it is ignorance, unawareness, moha, delusion. So we don’t try to make things the way that we want them to be. We don’t try to make things happen, the way we want them to happen. We are just trying to know what is happening as it is happening. Wanting this to happen or not to happen is expectations. Expectation leads to anxiety and that can lead to aversion.
It is important that we are aware of our expectations, our wanting to become a meditator, get meditation to be put in our CV, another thing we can do, just another activity that we can use to create an identity, for others to look at. We are not in the identity or personality creating game here. That is not what the retreat or meditation is about. It is about freeing ourselves exactly from that thing. Getting all excited about becoming a meditator, a retreatant. Have a look at that if you start going into that mind-set. Don’t use your practice as another foundation for the creating of a self. The practice is meant for removing the sense of self. It is not for building up a spiritual credential. We are learning to let go of that mental attitude of trying to create and generate a personality.
Our societies generally promote developing a very strong sense of self. We come from competitive societies. We have created social and economic 164 systems based on competition. We are competitive. Instead of cooperating with each other we are competing with each other, fighting and scrambling who can be the strongest, the fastest, the richest, the funniest, the smartest. We are competing. Our societies drive us to create an identity. The creator on our website, the owner on our business cards, to be able to tell people who we are or what we are. We don’t want to be nothing, do we? That is one of the nastiest things that anybody can say to us. «You are just nothing!» – If someone says that to me, «oh, thank you very much!» The practice is working!
10.4. Aversion#
Aversion either arises from the things that are not the way we think they should be, or, from a desire that they should be different. Or it arises simply from unawareness of what right practice is, not quite sure of what we meant to be doing in the Buddha’s teaching. We received a few instructions from here and there, but it is not quite clear yet exactly what we should be doing except for sitting on the floor and breathing. What else is it all about? We just get little bits and pieces here and there. We need to understand what the practice is all about. It is about letting go of our attachments! Our attachments that generate a sense of self, a me, mine and I, ego, egoic development, if you like.
Try to recognize dissatisfaction when it arises in the mind. Try to fully accept it, watch it, alertly, when the mind becomes dissatisfied or frustrated or irritated with something. Stop and observe, just feel and sense that experience. Don’t go into it. Don’t try to push it away. Just accept it while it is there. The dissatisfied mind is a wonderful learning tool, the mind of twisting and turning, not happy, complaining, wanting to escape, get out of here. Have a look at that mind state. It is wonderful to come in contact with it. Become to really see it what it is. When we see it clearly, dissatisfaction dissolves! Completely disappears. And we are left with comfort, with patience and with peace.
During the process of observation and exploration of dissatisfaction, its causes become clear. Our understanding dissolved the dissatisfaction. It may return! But we can note it, know it and let it go again! Dissatisfaction 165 comes from unfulfilled expectations, unfulfilled desires, craving. We see more and more clearly the harm that dissatisfaction causes the mind and body, we can watch it, we can see the trouble that it makes. But when we step back of it, we can see how easy it is to step out of this dissatisfied mind and stop identifying with it. Stop getting caught up in the story that is being generated. When we get caught up to it and attach to our own thinking, our own whinging and complaining, when we use whinging and complaining for a base of self, as a foundation for the arising of self, then it shouldn’t be a surprise to you that you aren’t so happy. We just generated a self-moment based on whinging and complaining. Of course it is going to be a dissatisfying moment. It is dukkha.
10.5. Wrong attitude#
Wrong attitudes are caused by delusion. Not truly knowing what the practice is and how to practice. We all have these delusions and wrong attitudes. Defilements of craving and aversion and all the relatives they may have. Not accepting defilements only strengthens them. We have to accept that they exist and arise. Old karma is manifesting, cause and effect set in operation. These defilements do come and hinder our meditation practice, they prevent us form living fully in the world. They shut us down. They turn our world into a duality.
So we need to understand those defiled states of mind. We need to watch out for them when they arise, accept them that they are there, note them, know them and let them go. Don’t attach to them, don’t reject them, don’t ignore them. Most importantly, don’t identify with them. Try to see them for what they are: impermanent, dukkha and non-self. When we see our emotional states or defiled states of mind arising, we look at them this way so that we can let them go completely.
As we stop attaching, we’ll stop identifying with these defiled mind states, their strength slowly diminishes. Things that used to stir us up, to frustrate and irritate us, start to loose their power. We understand the irritated mind, we understand that it is dukkha. We know why it is happening so we can adjust our behavior accordingly. We can adjust our experience, we just need to activate our awareness more continuously in the present. Whenever 166 we find ourselves attacked by an emotional state, that is the time to start noting, that’s the time to start stepping back and stop identifying with it before it becomes a habit, before we start developing a habit of identifying with particular mind states. They keep coming back, again and again, we keep looping on them and reacting on them. Craving for being is finding a lovely launching pad for it to gain a sense of self. Craving for being doesn’t mind if it is a pleasant or unpleasant experience. It just wants to be. Its only goal in the present moment experience is to infiltrate that experience, to get in there to infect the present with a sense of self. It’s a virus! The sense of self is a virus that comes to attack us. We have six vulnerable places: eye, ear, nose, tongue, body and mind door. We have to protect our doors from moment after moment to stop this virus entering. In the beginning stages of the practice it is difficult, there will be lots of gaps that it will keep leaking through. But if we note very rapidly, if we increase the speed at which we are noting the moment, then we can start to build up a barrier – like somebody to hold back the sea. You have to be very efficient to hold back the waves from coming up the beach because those waves just keep coming. Block them with mindfulness and wisdom. Note every moment. Then those waves won’t be waves of dukkha but waves of equanimity, waves of bliss.
So Vipassana meditation is much more than simply observing things with a receptive mind. We also have to use wisdom, investigation of dhamma. We need to create space for wisdom to operate. Having mindfulness, bringing ourselves into the present and noting what’s there is not enough! If you are just going into the moment seeing what is there and noting it, noting it, noting it, if you are not using wisdom to detach and step back from it, then you are probably noting going into the story. You are noting and the story is becoming stronger. In our satipatthana text it says very clearly, that we have to practice with satisampajana, with mindfulness and clear comprehension, or as we have been calling it this week, awareness and wisdom. Two different faculties. If we put energy in the mix, these three do the work of noting, knowing and letting go repeatedly and continuously. We can’t practice blindly or mechanically without thinking. Our meditation needs to be simple, not complicated. We have to come to understand the structure of our experience so that the letting go process can take place repeatedly.
167 When we are watching the mind, when we are turning our attention to the mind, it’s really talking about emotional states. If you become aware that an emotional state is there, just make a note such as ‘frustrated, frustrated’ and then come back to ‚rising, falling, sitting, touching, rising, falling, sitting, touching, rising, falling, sitting, touching, frustrated, frustrated’. Just take a note that it is there. Just observe, don’t interfere with it, don’t push it away. Don’t become upset that frustration is occurring. Don’t get annoyed with the frustration. Don’t find it unpleasant, just know that frustration is occurring. This is not me, this is not mine, this is not my self. We have to understand that it is just a mental state that has arisen and that it will pass away very rapidly if it is not identified with. If it is identified with, then you have to take it on board, carry it with your bag with you. It is a piece of dukkha. And you keep it until whatever causes the frustration passes away and then your frustration passes away and with it your dukkha. You don’t have to pick up every piece of dukkha that comes along your way. You do have a choice in the present moment, either awareness or dukkha! As simple as that. Which do you want? Up until now, you have been experiencing dukkha all your life. Now we have the opportunity to apply a slightly different strategy in our experience of the world. Instead of going into the story from our mind, we are stepping back from it. Letting go of it. We are creating space around the stories of our lives so that it passes away. Every moment is a new and fresh moment. Every moment is a new moment. Whatever dukkha has arisen before this particular moment, it has now passed, it’s history, it’s gone. Don’t bring it up as a memory again and start dukkhering yourself. It is gone! Why bring it into the present? Why bring your old stories in the form of memories into the present moment and attaching and identifying with them? It is because we do it, because these old stories give us a sense of self. «The poor me», «this is what happened to me». Think about it, we are generating thoughts about me! «How unfortunate I am» or «how sad it was that it happened to me, for me». Now these memories are just trigger points, new foundations, or should we say old foundations of self that have come back to revisit again. – The future is the same. The planning is the same. Why do we like to plan? Why do we like to prepare? Thinking about it over and over again. It gives us a sense of self. The planning for somebody. It is 168 my planning, it’s planning that I am going to do. These events, these states of mind are the foundations for self. Self is very tricky! Craving has been on the top of the tree for a very long time. It’s very tricky and very stable. To break it, to crack it, you need a jackhammer of awareness and wisdom. That is the only thing that can break it. Nothing else has been successful in breaking through ignorance.
Have a look in your mind, whether you are having some blemishes, some emotional states, that you are attaching too. See whether you have any stains in your mind. If you do, like most of us, you got some work to do. Some spiritual work – that is what our life is about. The evolution of our mind, the development of our mind. If we see any faults, we need to be alerted to them, watch them and observe these faults. If you see a stain in your clothes, you wash it out. Luckily for us all the stains are the same. They just need a bit of soap powder to wash it out. Some are a little bit tougher than others, that is true. But the technique is the same: washing. It may take two or three times to wash the stains out. Some stains are stronger than others. Have a look at your clothes. See whether you have any of these mind states, that come to visit us, hang around, cause some trouble and leave again. Like a bunch of drunken guys coming into a car park late night after the pub. They cause some trouble and leave. If we get upset about that, it’s only because we are attaching. My place, my pleasantness, my sleeping time. We have attached to something and so somebody’s activity is annoying us. My town – what are these guys doing here? If we don’t mind what is going on, then it’s just what it is. When we mature in our view, hands off, ok, let it go. Those guys will go before morning and you have saved yourself a night of stress, worry and discomfort because you have been able to let go. If you haven’t let go then you had an awful night listening all night to these guys.
Have a look if there is any anger or resentment. These cause a lot of trouble. Maybe there is some ill will, hatred towards somebody. Maybe you look down on others just judging – maybe that’s your stain. Maybe there is some envy or avarice. We are jealous of what some people have got, what they have become or how their life has turned out. Maybe we really, really, really want something – avarice. A very strong form of wanting. Maybe you are fraudulent and deceitful. You don’t always present the truth of who 169 you are and what you are. Maybe you praise yourself and disparage others. Judging others? Maybe some comparing? Maybe there is some complaining going on? Complaining and whinging. Have a look to see if these mental states are arising, note them, know them and let them go. If you don’t find your stain, it is not only you that has to live with these states, but your friends, your family, your lover, everybody has to live with it. You don’t want to be the last person in the room to find out that you are angry, do you? When we’re unaware and we become triggered, than we become angry. Everyone else can see it, why can’t we see it? Why don’t we stop it? Why do we allow it to escalate and become a big problem? Why do we allow a tiny irritation to turn into a frustration, get annoyed by that frustration and become angry? We may say something unpleasant to somebody else. We may do something unpleasant to somebody else. Just because we haven’t looked at our own mind. Just because we have reacted to an infection or a virus, which got into our head. And then what do we do? We blame others. «I only got angry because of you!» We blame others, when we don’t see our own defilements, our own imperfections in the mind. Have a look and see if you have a temper or whether you get angry. When we experience anger or resentment, it means that we have a mental resistance towards the object. We are trying to push it away. If we are angry with someone, if we look at that person again and again, we might even become angrier because we have resistance towards that person already. It doesn’t matter what they say or do, we are going to find a fault in their speech or their actions.
If we see any triggering, it is the perfect chance to work on ourselves. That person who is annoying us has just become our new teacher. We should be grateful to them, even though it is difficult. People who give us annoyance can really lead us to understanding something important. We create our own dukkha through our attachments and reactions. Sure, there may be someone who says something or does something unpleasant or foolish, but we alone have reacted to it! We alone are responsible for our dukkha! It is possible to live without dukkha if we are very mindful and aware. We are not observing anger to lessen it or to go away. We are observing to understand the connection between our mind state and our reactions to the mind state. It is our reactions which is our main point of interest. We want to know when 170 our mind has become dyed with a stain of emotion.
Mind states are satipatthana-objects. We can use them. Craving is using them to develop a sense of self. Awareness and wisdom can use them to develop the mind, to free the mind. All objects are possible. When craving can use it for a sense of self, then we can use it for a moment of knowing. We can use it to bring us even to cessation. These are legitimate objects of meditation practice. We need to know when our mind has been infected with lust, by hatred or delusion. We need to understand these mind states very clearly. More importantly, we need to understand our reactions to these mind states. We need to check our attitude. Wishing anger to disappear, to decrease or go away is wrong attitude. If we find ourselves in an angry state, we don’t want it wishing to go away, we don’t want to find ourselves in pushing it away. That is just further reaction! We’re trying to use aversion to get rid of anger. And that doesn’t work. So how do we deal with things if we find ourselves in an angry state for example? We just have to observe the moment. We just have to be with it. It doesn’t matter if the anger goes away or not. Anger is not the problem. This is conditioned phenomena. Anger is not the problem. Our negative mental reactions when we experience anger is the problem. How we react when we find ourselves in this state is what we need to look at here. We can react with attachment and identifying going into the story further and becoming angrier, completely loosing control, or we can step back and develop awareness and wisdom in the moment having a look at that anger, short circuiting the reaction mechanism that happens. Break it, shut it off! When we stop reacting to it, that anger stops being dukkha! It’s just anger, it’s not me or mine, it doesn’t belong to me, it’s impermanent, it arises and passes away. As soon as you hold it or identify with it – dukkha! If you can note and know it, disengage and separate from it, using wisdom, then dukkha ceases in that moment and there arises a moment of wisdom, a moment of clear seeing. Vipassana practice can pull us out of reactionary emotional states and pull us out of habitual looping thoughts and tendencies. It has the power to do that. We just need to practice it. Putting it in practice, we have come here to this retreat to learn how to do this in an intensive environment. We try to do this as much as we can in seven silent days. Try to get to the point as much, as much as you can. Then when you go down the 171 hill to the 7Eleven-village you can wander around the market and enjoy the delights there without getting yourself into too much trouble. Of course, you still react, but we have now a technique to step out of our reaction mechanism. We can cool ourselves down, we can calm ourselves rapidly.
So this is important: anger does arise and is part of our conditioning. Mind states come up. Emotional states do arise. It’s karma, playing its role in our life. No-one can stop karma from giving its resultant. Things are going to manifest. It’s not all going to be rainbows and dolphins. Sometimes there are troubles that arise. But we can be wise with our reactions toward anger. And this is our practice in the present moment. It’s a gradual training and a gradual practice. We are learning how to do it in this retreat, but the real practice begins for the rest of your life. See if you can do it, if you find yourself in a state of unrest, when you’ve started freaking out about something. That’s the time to employ the technique. If we do it in times where the mind is not freaking out, then the mind will become very used to it. We’ll have the skill to turn and observe something objectively, step back from it and allow the let go-mechanism to do its job. It’s all built in, this is how we are designed. This is how the mind and body process is set up. It’s very efficient noting and knowing and letting go. You can create quite a wide space between the knowing and all the mental and physical phenomena that arise and pass away not getting sucked into any of them. We can have periods of meditation where nothing comes to stick, it’s all just doing its thing. As we start to see the benefits of the practice, there is a great deal of joy in practicing in this way. When there is anger and resentment, you’ll find that the feeling associated with that anger is very strong – unpleasant feeling. There will be some unpleasantness. That’s the aroma, the flavor of unpleasantness. There will also be physical sensations occurring in the body when we get angry. Because there is strong feeling, they are relatively easy to observe; subtle states of craving and addiction are more difficult. When it is something that is very unpleasant, of course it’s easier to let go of it. When it’s something that is very, very pleasant – more difficult!
Letting go happens in stages: we let go of the past and the future, we let go of the external world, we move beyond sensuality, we move beyond the five hindrances, we let go of the painful physical sensations, we let go of 172 the painful mental emotions. Then we have to let go of the pleasant physical sensations, and yes, we have to let go of the pleasant mental states that arise. Everything needs to be let go. The whole lot needs to be chopped up, the whole lot needs to be let go. We can’t allow any attachment to stand. If we do, it will be a base for dukkha to arise.
There is a direct link between our mind state, mental feeling and the physical sensations that arise. They are linked together, our reactions are also linked to them. We described it earlier as the four big stairways leading to the pagoda. You can decide which stairway you are going to use if going to the pagoda platform.
In our meditation practice we can also choose, if we want to look at our emotional state of mind. When it is really strong and we are really struggling with it, we can turn our attention and look at the feelings. The unpleasantness of the emotional state – that’s another stairway. If one stairway is blocked, when we are having trouble with it, go around the corner, try to go up another stairway. Try to reach the present moment, awareness of the present moment by going through the feeling foundation. If it is too unpleasant, have a look at the physical sensations. When we become angry, the physical sensations become quite obvious. Our face turns read, we feel warm inside, our heart starts beating faster, our breathing quickens and becomes shorter, we may start frothing at the mouth. We can be aware of these physical sensations as well. We have to choose whatever for us is appropriate in the moment. Sometimes, if it is a big event or a big experience, we’ll need to note all the aspects of it, we need to walk all the stairways for us to let go of the experience completely. We’ll have to let go of the physical sensations that arise, and the feeling, we’ll have to let go of the emotional state itself, and we’ll have to let go of our attachments and reactions of liking and disliking. The fact that it is there. All these things will have to be let go of. From the moment you become aware of anger, no matter how weak or strong it is, check your mind and body for tension. See if you feel any tensing going on. Feel it in the body, it will start to become tense. The muscles start to contract a little bit. So hardness starts to occur in the body. The earth element starts to manifest in its strong aspect. Hardness, the body hardens.
When we are able to be with anger, that doesn’t mean that we are equanimous. 173 Just because we can sit and tolerate it, «hm, it’s going on», that is not equanimity. Sitting there and forcing ourselves to sit through an angry mind state, forcing ourselves to sit through an aching knee even, that’s not equanimity when we force ourselves. Equanimity has to do with reaction to things. True equanimity arises when we are not pushing or pulling, we are not attracted nor repelled by the experience. We are completely cool to it. It doesn’t matter to us if it arises or passes away. If it’s there and stays for a while or if it stays for a week. We have no interest in trying to get rid of it. Our only interest is to know it, to see it clearly. We are not trying to push it away in any way. We are not just blindly sitting with it. Our practice is going beyond that.
So in this process, if we neglect to watch the mind, if we are not aware of our mental reaction to an emotional state that is arising, if we fail to realize that sitting with anger is not the same as developing equanimity, then we are just going to be dukkhering ourselves, holding ourselves in dukkha, maintaining the base that craving has created. We are holding it there.
So instead start to watch the mental reactions to any emotional state that start to arise. Try to make some space between the anger and you. It’s not yours. Try to use the prism of the four noble truths. The Buddha says, «there is dukkha». This is his first noble truth. We can use these words «there is». We can put them in front of any emotional state. «There is anger», «there is envy», «there is jealousy». Whatever it may be, we can dis-identify with it. We can stop identifying with it. We can objectify «there it is», there is an angry mind state that has just arisen. It is very different from «I am angry». «There is anger». The same experience, one with mindfulness and wisdom, the other just blindly reacting and appropriating and identifying. When these mind states come up, they are not you. They don’t belong to you. You don’t need to take them so seriously. People take their mind states very seriously! They take themselves very seriously! And of course, they cause a lot of problems those people. Problems to themselves and problems to the people around them. Making space around our mental states, around our mind objects is the heart of our meditation practice. We are using wisdom to step back. When we see it as it is, wisdom allows consciousness to step back. Consciousness is not in there addicted, subjectified, it’s out of that. It’s in the 174 space around it. It’s in the freedom that surrounds the mind state. If we’re in the mind state, we’re in the dukkha. If we’re noting it and letting it go, than we’re in the space of freedom. Freedom from our own mental afflictions.
So we start to watch our mental reactions to resistance and the anger gradually decrease and fade away. When we are not giving it any attention, it goes away like a little kid, when we are not entertaining it, not giving it any attention, it will find something else to do.
Equanimity is the result of truly understanding the nature of liking and disliking. And truly understanding liking and disliking comes from the observation of it, of our evidence, from our own experience, not from someone else telling that you have to stop liking and disliking. That’s not going to be powerful enough to do any transformation. That’s a little bit of information you got, a little information contained in knowledge, but it is not strong enough for a transformation to occur.
So understanding the difference between equanimity and to bear with a mind that is seizing in anger, is very important. When we look at anger or resentment directly, and there is no resistance to it, then there is no problem in the mind. It’s just a mind state that is there. We are neither upset by it, nor disturbed by it. And because it’s not getting any fuel, because it’s not fed by craving, it can’t be used as a base for the arising of self, it just passes away. It has become redundant. That mental experience is useless to the mind and body process. It can’t generate a sense of being and that is all that craving wants. So we put a wedge in between our experience and craving. We create some space. Then we can truly see the stain in the cloth and wash it out. The mind becomes equanimous and sensitive.
When we truly have equanimity towards a mental state like anger, resentment or jealousy – the mind state may still remain there – but there won’t be any dukkha related to it. We won’t find it uncomfortable. Anger will be purely an object. It will have been objectified, put out there, it’s not me, it’s not mine. It looses its importance and its function and it fades away while we look on with equanimity.
So remember that you are not looking at the reactions of the mind to make them go away. We are always investigating the nature of our reactions so that we can understand them. When we understand them, when we create 175 space around them, then they pass away by themselves. We don’t need to push them away.
So try to apply these points, try to observe any emotional states that you are going through. Spend the next few days here learning how to look at them objectively. When you get back to the busy world, it is much more difficult to look at them than in silence. See if you can notice any stains in your clothes that you have to do any work with. When we notice what needs to be done, this is the beginning of a spiritual life, this is the beginning of becoming a spiritual person. We’re not talking about a religious one, we are talking about somebody who is doing some work on themselves, who makes themselves and the world a more pleasant place to be.
Whatever we learn from dealing with a single mind state like anger or resentment can be applied to other mind states as well. Emotions or looping thought patterns, all their relatives and different emotional states can be dealt with in the same way, because all have the same structure. Structurally they’re the same, their content is different. When we dealt with a certain set of circumstances, we have seen that content, the way of letting it go is by seeing its structure that holds that content in place. Once we start to observe the structure in our present moment experience, it doesn’t matter what the picture on the screen is. It doesn’t matter what the emotional state is. It can be one of dozens. That’s kind of irrelevant to us, the content is not important. Everything needs to be let go of. Of course we can start with the really damaging ones, and then we can start to work on the more subtle ones to refine our experience of life. Work on the big stories first that cause us anxiety, stress or depression. Fear or worry or concern. Then work on the more subtle ones that give us states of unpleasantness.
It’s important to remind ourselves that emotions are natural phenom- ena but they are not your emotions. They are happening in this mind and body process. If you identify with them, then they are yours and you have to experience them! You dukkher yourself. But if you have awareness and the wisdom in the moment they arise, then you don’t have to identify with them. You objectified it, they’re removed through the power of awareness and wisdom.
When you feel yourself under attack by a strong emotional state, sometimes 176 it’s best not to even look at that emotional state. This may cause even more trouble, if our awareness and wisdom are not up to the task. In going closer and closer we may become completely engulfed. That’s the time – when a very strong emotion, like when a family member dies, you have very strong grief, or you break up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, a strong emotional state – to use another stairway. Have a look at the body. Have a look at feeling. Have a look at the unpleasantness or pleasantness of the situation. When it all becomes completely too much to look at, when all of the four foundations seem too much to observe, in that case you can turn your mind to a neutral object. Just try to distract yourself from that state. Start to watch the breath or start to do some walking meditation. Do a good hour of walking meditation, maybe fast walking to clear it out. Pay attention to something else until the emotion calms down a little bit. Not completely disappears, but when it calms down, then you may be able to have a look at it properly. When you have weakened it a little bit. When you distracted yourself from being in the story so much, then you can have a look. Go and jump on your bike and go for a ride, or go for a swim. Calm down and then have a look at it. Then you can learn something, it’s all about learning. It’s all about knowledge and understanding. That’s how letting go takes place. Through wisdom.
The more skillfully you can do this, the more skillfully you will understand that physical and mental phenomena are related with each other, the more skillfully you will be able to deal with your experience of life and the more satisfying that experience will be.